Oxygen are still forcing itself into my lungs, demanding me to breathe and forcing me to embody The Yes when everything is destroyed and my house of cards has collapsed, and my Survival Alarm is turned on inside every cell in my shattered body. This Yes has no mercy with what must die, it even forces me to say Yes to this death, but it is a sacred death and it is exclusive. Everything is Already Embraced in This Yes, but for me, the mind says I will go insane if I believe in it.

But I am not insane, the insanity is outside my door snarling and barking, trying to threaten me to pay my bills that has piled up everywhere and no money is coming in, it is craving me to keep my insanity and sends shock – waves of fear and terror to make me fear my own Divine Power , trying to prevent me from birthing the Freedom I am, instead it wants me to believe in its fears and limitations, that I need this fear so I can protect myself against the incoming Light, trying make me to stand up and be responsible and continue obey it as I have always done while I are laying alone on the cold hard concrete floor in my basement after falling through my burned wooden kitchen floor together with all the shattered champagne glasses of my broken dreams, while my contradictions in my body is terrifying me, birthing my God self without seemingly no help but total surrender. I am frozen and my body is in excruciating pain while it is turning into unrecognisable form, it is trembling while the ominous unknown is forcing its way into all my expanding cells that breathe fresh air like never before, but for me it feels like I am being suffocated by the unwieldy weight of my own broken bones, ego and false self.

In raw panic I am desperately looking for the lifeline I believed was there for my thunder and lightening days, but it was never there, Now this Yes is dreaming through me my wildest dreams, appearing as the most clearest Vision, my physical eyes is blurry of tears but my Soul is becoming more and more visible as I embodying this yes and piece by piece my dying illusions of my false self is being absorbed into Wilder Grace. My vista is barren and there is nothing I recognize any more, Raw vulnerability is God Dressed as the Great Unknown , But She had to strip me of my old safety nets and certainties, so I could have the experience have nothing but absolute openness and new eyes. There is a pouring in of all the things I never noticed before. My Long Night of Terror is slowly changing into new morning light never seen before, it is a Golden Light that softens and clarifies, it is fresh green leaves and fragrance of flowers expanding my body and wings into my natural Grandness and my heart is pounding in ways never felt before and my lungs expands and contracting in the rhythm of the embodied Yes.
Oxygen is still coursing through my body and my God Self is working hard behind the scenes holding me up towards The Light while my false royal regalia is being replaced with my true Crown and Golden Throne so I can be brought back into earth again for my new purpose more glorious than I could ever imagine.

My despair, long held and hidden secret I always tried to tame was grief on steroids, now I must see that my deep Grief from long time ago holds its own Joy; Freedom and a softness my entire body has been longing for for a long time. Despair is resignation, my own created long-term forecast for storms, tsunamis and the death of the Sun. Fear rages like a lunatic, spitting acid and I leave my self in a cold greediness and poverty. Embodying The Yes moves me through this Fear and Chaos of the ego. My Heart feels like it is in free fall and I grasp for everything that can keep the old alive so it can fix me and numb the jagged edges. But I can no longer say No to the Yes, this yes shows me my Silence Dignity and The Power of my God Self even when I am in survival mode. Nothing is clear for me any more but this, an larger and higher view has become available, a spaciousness, wonder and the divine gift of my Eternal True Self. This Exclusive and Elegant liberation is embodying The Royal and Sacred Yes and releasing me from my own imprisoned arrogance appearing as responsibilities that was always false but I strongly believe it was me holding the universe together.

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